I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Less talking, more tequila
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
