Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
