Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
