Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
