life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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