I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize