in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this just has baby written all over it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize