But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Two words: blizzard sex
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
