You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize