i jhust puked up my retainher.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
