so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize