OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
