Do you still have your period?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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