imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just invented taco cereal.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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