Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
