At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize