I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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