so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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