When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
