Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize