Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
