i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize