she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
