She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
