A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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