She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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