You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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