what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
