watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
