am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
