I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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