you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
