id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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