there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I love having hate sex.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
