Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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