We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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