Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
