i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
