Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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