no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
