Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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