There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
