He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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