Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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