it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
