You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
