Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
