Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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