youre lurking in front of me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
