Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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