Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
