I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
