Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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