Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
