hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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