My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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